Pagan Parenting and Political Correctness (II)

   Here is an interesting quote which I found in an article by Toby Lester which was published in the Atlantic Monthly. It's about how religions evolve and is quite a good read.

_“The one scholar I came across who has actually dared to put into print what he feels are the reasons a religion succeeds is the sociologist Rodney Stark, who in 1996 wrote an article in the Journal of Contemporary Religion called Why Religious Movements Succeed or Fail.

He listed ten factors that he felt are essential to a religion's success, some of which I can try quickly to summarize for you here.

1) Cultural continuity with the society at large. Mormonism has succeeded, for example, because of how much it emphasizes the heritage it shares with Christianity

.2) They exist at a moderate level of tension with society—they're "strict, but not too strict," Stark says.

3) They can create a highly motivated group of volunteers who gladly will work for the community and many of whom will actively proselytize.

4) They have enough children to keep membership strong, and they work at keeping their children engaged in the religion._”

  Although I disagree with proseletyzing (after all I live in Utah!) number four just jumped right out.

"They work at keeping their children engaged in the religion."

   Wow, what an idea! When I lived in Florida, I belonged to a wiccan organization that did a lot of good things, but one of the problems I had with the group was the beauracracy with which they ran things. I saw numerous people come to volunteer for various things and get shot down. We had people who wanted to do Pagan Parenting groups. We had one energetic young man who kept coming to the board meetings to try to get support for a youth group. The Board was so afraid of legalities and such that they would never allow either of these ideas to come to fruition. Finally one day I pulled the energetic young man aside and told him not to bother with getting our approval, to go ahead and just do it, form a group and get things rolling. Well fortunately he did just that and now there is a thriving youth group which is not affiliated with the local org.

   This is what frustrates me the most about dealing with the issue of children and Pagan Youth. There is little to no support given to engaging the next generation of Witchlings. Pagan Youth are pushed aside or ignored because of fear. We are so terrified that we lose our power.

   Also there is a discrimination factor as well, when wiccans or pagans with children are not allowed to bring them to rituals or gatherings! (I have experienced this one myself!) I can't think of a single "mainstream" church that doesn't offer a nursery or alternative children's activities. One of the reasons that the Mormon religion grows so fast is it's emphasis on the family. I personally feel that we are dropping the ball in a big way on this. If we don't include the next generation, then there might not BE a next one!

   This is why I think that we should raise our kids in our traditions and teach them what we know.

   We feel that we rejected our parents' beliefs and don't want that to happen to us or to our children. This is true in my case - I also rejected my religious upbringing. However, the reasons why I rejected that upbringing were precisely that same reasons I felt so at home with the Goddess Religions. My upbringing taught a lot of things that I disagreed with on a fundamental level. I disliked the exclusivity of it (you can only go to heaven if you're one of us) I disagreed with the idea that those not in the religion are going to burn in hell I very much disagreed with the idea that women were second class citizens and could not perform any spiritual functions.

   I am a little skeptical that a child raised in a tradition that emphasizes freedom of thought, creativity, individuality, self expression and for women, basic human rights and the divine feminine would choose as an adult to embrace a stifling religion that goes completely against all that they have been taught.

   I am sure it does happen - but does it really stick?

   In my opinion, the people I know who are the most well-adjusted adults are ones that have been given a strong spiritual foundation, regardless of whether they agree with it as adults. I think it helps a child's development to know securely who they are and where they

 stand in the world. I think a lot of people who are of a liberal bent take the position that it is wrong to teach their kids any specific religious path, but then are surprised when their kids have problems with their own self-esteem and identity.

   One example of this case in point is the young man John Walker Lindh. Since his parents didn't give him a strong spiritual foundation - he went looking for one.

   I don't want to come off sounding like a Religious Right Fundie - but what we are not teaching our kids by not teaching them our traditions are a strong moral sense of right and wrong. I am sure there are many parents - pagan or not who would say they do teach that.

   What I am saying is that we need to teach them these things within the context of our spiritual traditions!

   We need to teach them how to evaluate and follow the Rede - (if your tradition teaches it) or the Threefold Law (ditto) or whatever moral code that you believe in.

   We are really missing out if we don't take the chance to give our children the rites of passage or other means of spiritual development that we have access to. We have a tremendous body of spiritual wealth to draw from and yet when it comes to teaching our kids these things, we somehow fail. We need to learn how to succeed!!